Its Back...

Alright.. So Let me set the scene for you. It is the summer of '06.. Our Orem Owlz Baseball players that were living with us were Scott,Barret, and Tadd.... After the baseball games Scott and Meagen would go off and hang out together.... Tadd would call his girlfriend.. and Barret and I would go hang out with eachother.. Well.. One night We had some family drama and pretty much the only people who were not in trouble or on my moms "List" were Barret and I. ( Okay PS... are you noticing how well I am typing this... Like putting in periods and all...whoa).. Okay so since we are not on " The List" we decide it is just best to not be at the house at all while all this stuff goes down. So we go to the mall... we go to lunch....we went to some chinese place in the food court at the mall ..(first mistake) ..We order sesamee chicken...Pretty sure it was dog. Litteraly..dog... Barret was sure it was Poodle.. I was leaning more toward rotwhiler. But whatever.. So we go shop some more, we just drive around, and that was the day that I relized that Barret is worse then shopping with a girl. Ugh! I hate the mall BTW. So Anyways... We get bored with mall...Call home... Mom answers...You can hear it in her voice.. Not safe to come home yet.. So Problem.... BORED!!!!!... Reminder.. Barret has ADD..Not good to be bored. So... We decide... To buy hampsters... WHAT! RANDOM! I KNOW! ..You think THAT is random.. hampsters... listen to what we named then. Barret named mine Delilah becuase I was in L.o.v.e with the song " Hey there Delilah".. And Barrets hampster name.... DADDY FAT SACK..Seriously.. Let me retype that for you to make sure you got it.. yes .. yes... Daddy fat sack.. So buy the hampsters.. along with cage..food...little ball for them to run around in...Oh and Leashes...yes..hampster leashes..Becuase Barret had a great idea that on the nights that he was not pitching he could sit in the bull pin put daddy fat sack and delilah on leashes and it would be okay.. PROBABLY NOT B!.. so I drop barret off at the field..I go home.. ( dun dun dun )..We were not on my moms list when the day started.. Lets just say we were on top of the list when we came home with our new pet hampsters. I set up the hampsters in cage..Get them all welcomed and all.. and I leave for the night. We get home from the game that night and we are so excited to see how our new friends are doing.. we let them out we put them in there little running ball.. and then barret... Such a GUY.. Thinks it will be funny to take a pool stick and play golf with the hampster ball... along with hampster in it.. lets just say... I didnt know that such a small little animal could make such an awful little sound while flying mid air and spinning around..poor little daddy fat sack never saw it coming. Oh and by the way that is the only time that i have ever litteraly BACK HANDED SOMEONE!.. so.. Day Two of our problem... I get a call at work... Ring ring ring " Thank you for calling the orem hampton inn this is holli how can i help you?" .... Frantic breathing.. " HOLLI...ITS BARRET... We've got a problem... Delilah's on the lamb..." ( keep in mind Barret is from Jesup Georgia.. Southern Accent and all) " Okay.. Barret.. Where the hell is lamb and why is delilah on it?" ... " Holli She's gone I can't find her.." Oh no... Definitaly on " The list" Now.. Missing hampster... No good.... Uhm okay.. " Dont tell mom.. We will look later" Okay.. so we go to the game.. We think of all the ways we could find poor little delilah and this lamb shes on.. We think okay.. we can put out an amber alert for our hampsters.. we can just leave the cage door open and hope that it just walks back in.. Well.. for the next few days our house develops this.. very..interesting and overwhelming smell. .everywhere in the house.. every room.. it just SMELLS!!! and I mean. ROTTEN!... We had to put rugs over all of the vents.. and buy air freshner it was rotten.. But good news!! Yeah..we finally found her my good lil delilah... running around in the kitchen.. just hanging out.. being a free soul... But.. we are confused.. We thoguht for sure that the smell was coming from my dead Delilah..But we just found her.. shes not dead.. we go to put her in the cage.. AND DADDY FAT SACK IS GONE!!!!!... And this is what Barret says " Well.. He must be the horrible smell... The hampster is dead somewhere in the house... And its him!! He deserves to die.. He thought it was old and brave enough to go out on his own and he was most certinitaly not!! He deserves to be dead" My thinking is maybe he ran away from you becuase you golfed with him! Anyways.. Daddy fat sack was never to be found... And poor delilah...RIP. I dont know how long she was laying there dead in that cage that me and barret just never looked at it, or cleaned, or anything. And as for the smell... This is how Barret explained the smell... " Smells like a bag full of buttholes sitting on a school bus in the hot july sun".. Yes..yes.. with the southern accent and all.. The smell was awful....So at the end of the summer Our baseball boys left.. Our rotten smell left.. and our pet hampster bought out of bordem were no longer with us.. Well.. daddy fat sack is in the house somewhereS. ..So let me bring you to the present time and the reason for this story I am sharing with you.. I am laying in bed watching T.V. I get called up to dinner.. I eat.. I come back down to my room... And I smell it... The Scent of Daddy Fat Sack has returned... Someone please make it go away......please.... The End.. ( somewhere in that story I lost interest in using commas and periods and shit.)