Knees, needles, and fluid Oh My!

About 9 years ago when I was on a crusie with my family I hurt my left knee. I have no idea what I did to it nothing it just started hurting really bad and each day it got bigger and bigger. While driving home from California I had to sit in the middle seat so that I could keep my leg straight becuase it was to big to even bend it. When we got home I went to see an ortho doctor and did some X rays and an MRI and he said that I had torn my miniscus. It wasnt bad enough that I needed surgery or anything just was on crutches for a few weeks and did some Physical Therapy and that was it. Still to this day I have absolutely no idea what I did to it.

It never really bothered me until about 3 months ago it swelled up for like 3 days and I couldnt walk on it but after I iced and elevated it it was fine and I didn't really worry about it. But then it happened again like 2 weeks ago but the swelling was 10 times worse and it hurt soooo bad! I thought that if I just did the same thing, ice, elevate blah, blah, blah it would go away. But when it continued to get bigger and bigger I finally decided it was time to go to the insta care.

The doctor took one look at it and said " You need to be seen by an ortho doctor asap!... He drained all the fluid out of it and after the fluid was out I tried to walk on it and every time I put pressure on it it now POPS.. pop pop pop POP!

It hurts really bad and quit frankly I am getting sick of my leg not looking like it has no knee at all its so swollen. My leg is just thigh and calf. I  have a Thalf. Ha.

Anyway, so the insta care doctor said that there is a very good possiblity that I may be having surgery on my knee to get a scope of it and see whats going on and to clean it up. Clean the minisucs and the cartlidge thats floating around in there. If I have this surgery this will be my 32nd surgery in 7 years. Lets see how fast my insurance will deny this surgery too. My appoitment is on Tuesday..  Yeah I'm really looking forward to this.

Plain Jane

Lately I have been feeling really Plain Jane. I know this sounds so dumb but I have been reading and stalking alot of girls blogs and it seems like everyone has a talent. Everyone has something that makes them unique. I feel so plain Jane. There is a lot of girls out there that can cook, or sew, or write, or , dance whatever and I pretty much have none of that.

I would like to think that one day when I get married I am going to be a good wife, and maybe someday mom and when I think about things that make someone a good wife and mother is someone who can cook for their husband. Someone who has a talent and can maybe teach their kids one day how to do.

I just wish I had a " thing."  When I was in Junior High and High School I was a dancer and pretty good one if I do say so myself, but I no longer have that. And as much as I wish I could have that again I can't. When I graduated from 9th grade I was voted most likely to become a superstar. If Class of 2005 could only see me now.

I know that I could go out and find something to be my "thing" or hobby but I just don't know what it would be. It just seems like everyone has something that just makes them stand out and I am just plain Jane. Lots of blonde hair blue eyed girl has a job. Has uh.. oh wait yeah thats about all I got.  I wish I had the money to go out and try new things and find something that I like and am able to do and that would make me feel different. I know that sounds really weird " make me different " but  I just need something...

Will Work For Food

Actually.... will do ANYTHING for food....

Will someone please put together a canned food drive for Meagen and I? We are so hungry.

So hungry.

No food.

No Moneys to buy food...

Did I mention that we are hungry?

Its really sad that there is more of my medicine for my PICC line then there is food...

DO YOU SEE THIS!? THERE IS NO FOOD!!

I am so weak I can barley type this post...I am withering away to nothing from having no food.

(Ha! I wish that was true....)

Lets just take a look again at this fridge...

So hungry.....

The things I have never done

I have never...

 *Hiked to the "Y"

*Been skiing ( I have been snowboarding which I loved though)

*Been paint balling

*Held or shot a gun

*Kept a New Years resolution

*I have never been pregnant ( although I look like I am now)

*I have never gotten a ticket

*I have never been able to play an instrument

*Been scuba diving

*Seen the movie Wizard of Oz

*Cooked a meal for others

*Learned to whistle

*Owned a gym pass

*Kareoked

*Hiked Timp

*Cheated on someone

*Had a house key

*Had a pedicure

*Karaoked

*Learned to water ski

*Been to a rodeo

*Slowed danced with someone that I love

*Traveled to another continet

*Attended a professional sporting event

*Attended an opera

*Parasailed

*Owned a pet that was just mine

*Swan with dolphins

*Ridden a horse 

**These things I've never done**

Welcome 2010

Hello Friends.

I hope everyone had a good Holiday Season and is having a great New Year so far!

My Christmas was really good. It was really different but I had alot of fun. It was so much less stressful then years past and that was great! My parents suprised Meagen and I with a beautiful Christmas Eve dinner set up at the hotel and we ate, played games, watched movies, ( Well they ate, played games, and watched movies... I slept.... alot) It was so much fun and it was so weird actually sleeping on Christmas eve! Christmas morning my mom and I both worked and when we got off we went back to our room and played some more games and watched a movie then went home for the night. We skipping doing presents this year ( which is why it was less stressfull , not having to worry about money and blah blah blah) But Meagen suprised us with the most rotten ass ugly slippers for every to wear ( Which i LOVE them) And my parents got meagen and I some presents. We each got a blue tooth for our phones, some pajamas pants that are susper cute and Wii fit!!!  ( It was their way of telling me that I am now a beefkins and need to do something about it) hehe. Just kidding. Christmas was great I wish Madi and Brady were able to spend it with us but they had a great first Christmas together with their little family. I love my family so much I loved spending Christmas with them!

New Years was not so great for me. Once again we spent the night at the hotel to spend the night and play games. When I got off work I went home to shower and I was just going to meet everyone there. I was carrying alot of stuff with me and as I was walking out to my car I slipped on a huge ice patch and fell... smacked my head on the cement. Smacked my ribs on the cement and everything I was carrying just fell on top of me. I didn't want to go to to the hospital so I had a terrible headache and started throwing up but I didn't want to go to the hospital so I just waited 2 days to see if it would go away. The next day I started to develope a bruise on my ribs and this weird knot on them. So I went to the Emergency room just to make sure everything was okay with me. They did a cat scan on my head and I just have a cuncusion. They took X rays of my ribs and they were not cracked but I tore the cartlidge on them. With all the kidney problems I am having they checked to make sure I didn't bruse them or anything but they were okay which is good I guess. So they drugged me up  gave me some fluids for dehydration from throwing up so much smacked a brace on me and off I went to start the new year! I didn't start the year off so great. I still have a terrible headache and bruises ... Jeeze. I need to be put in a bubble.

I havent really set any New Years resolutions. I hate those. I don't think someone should need a new year to change something that they want to change or do something that they want to do. I want to try and be a happier person this year. I am not happy, and I know alot of it has to do with me being sick all the freaking time but I can't control that. I just want to be happier. Have fun. Be a better person, but I don't really have any goals for the year. Just be happier.

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I thought about the Scene in Sex and the City where Charolette yells out " I am going to get married this year!!!!) .. but then I thought... I don't want to get married this year I just want to find my prince this year.. and then maybe next year get married.. Hehe

.. maybe my resolution should be to blog more. I am a terrible blogger but I don't think anyone reads my blog anymore so thats okay. .. Hi mom! Hi Meg!