So I am looking for a new job. For reals this time. If I had a nickle for everytime I have said to someone " I am looking for a new job" I would be so rich that I wouldnt need a job. Anyway, so I kind of have mixed feelings about it. Not that I am sad to leave the hotel or anything trust me I am wanting to get out but I am sad about leaving my mom here.. I don't want to leave her here in this Hell hole without me. It makes me so un happy. As soon as I walk in the door I am in a bad mood, I am rude to everyone, guests and co workers and I don't even care. My attitude is horrible and agian.. I just don't care. I have gotten everything that I can out of working at the hotel and now that I think about it.. I really got nothing. I could make more money having a lemonade stand on the corner of my street. I have not been given a promotion or moved up any and it has been made clear to me that I never will be. So why have I stayed here for the past 5 years you ask? Easy. I don't like change. I don't like being outside my comfort zone. And that is what starting a new job is all about. I tried it once.. I even worked with people that I have known for years. I hated it, it was horrible. I made myself sick over it. I stressed and stressed to the point of Anxiety. So I quit what would have been an awesome job, they offered to help get me out of debt, give me health insurance, a set schedual with a much better pay...and walked right back to the hotel. Foolish. Foolish and Dumb. ( See.. I really do have a problem) Not one of my smarter moves. Actually none of my moves have been very smart lately. So anyways.. I am looking for a new job. I think it will help me be happier becuase apparently I am never happy and I am depressed all the time. Alot of things in my life need to change. That became very clear to me today. I think that finding a new job will be a good start. Wish me luck. 
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
So I am looking for a new job. For reals this time. If I had a nickle for everytime I have said to someone " I am looking for a new job" I would be so rich that I wouldnt need a job. Anyway, so I kind of have mixed feelings about it. Not that I am sad to leave the hotel or anything trust me I am wanting to get out but I am sad about leaving my mom here.. I don't want to leave her here in this Hell hole without me. It makes me so un happy. As soon as I walk in the door I am in a bad mood, I am rude to everyone, guests and co workers and I don't even care. My attitude is horrible and agian.. I just don't care. I have gotten everything that I can out of working at the hotel and now that I think about it.. I really got nothing. I could make more money having a lemonade stand on the corner of my street. I have not been given a promotion or moved up any and it has been made clear to me that I never will be. So why have I stayed here for the past 5 years you ask? Easy. I don't like change. I don't like being outside my comfort zone. And that is what starting a new job is all about. I tried it once.. I even worked with people that I have known for years. I hated it, it was horrible. I made myself sick over it. I stressed and stressed to the point of Anxiety. So I quit what would have been an awesome job, they offered to help get me out of debt, give me health insurance, a set schedual with a much better pay...and walked right back to the hotel. Foolish. Foolish and Dumb. ( See.. I really do have a problem) Not one of my smarter moves. Actually none of my moves have been very smart lately. So anyways.. I am looking for a new job. I think it will help me be happier becuase apparently I am never happy and I am depressed all the time. Alot of things in my life need to change. That became very clear to me today. I think that finding a new job will be a good start. Wish me luck. 
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2 comments:
Holli this post was so much like me not even funny. I hate change as well. today i wanted to die i hated how nervous i was starting to take clients at work today and it was for no reason i was having anxiety all morning. But Craigs list acctually posts a good amount of jobs daily. Hope that helps!
Yeah... I have noticed that you have been blue the past couple of times you have came in for me... but I know the comfort feeling all to well! It is so hard to get rid of something that is easy and gives you a little extra cash on the side. Good luck! You don't give yourself enough credit for how talented and smart you are! I know you will do fine.
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