I'm Sensative

I've been told that this song describes me perfectly..What do you think?

I'm Sensative

Jewel:

I was thinking that I might fly today

Just to disprove all the things that you say

It doesn't take a talent to be mean

Your words can crush things that are unseen

CHROUS: So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive

And I'd like to stay that way

You always tell me that it's impossible

To be respected, and be a girl

Why's it gotta be so complicated

Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated

CHROUS: So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive

And I'd like to stay that way

I was thinking, that it might do some good

If we robbed the cynics and took all their food

That way what they believe will have taken place

And we can give it people who have some faith

CHROUS: So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive

And I'd like to stay that way

I have this theory, that if we're told we're bad

Then that's the only idea we'll ever have

But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty

Someday we will become what we see

'Cause anyone can start a conflict

it's harder yet to disregard it

I'd rather see the world from another angle

We are everyday angels

Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way

New Hotel Blog!

Ready for some totally AMAZEBALLZ news? Here it is....

I have created a new blog!

http://hollishotelhorrorstories.blogspot.com/

I decided that with all my years of working in a hotel its time to share some of the crazy and insane stories that I have experienced with guests, co-workers, and also employees of hotels that I have been the guest at. I am really excited about this! I hope that everyone has fun reading all my crazy stories that I am going to share! Be excited! Be Be Be Excited! ( Yes I did just cheer...what of it?)

Pink Diamond Slots!

I went to the Thunder Valley Casino a few weeks ago, and I won BIG TIME!!
Let me set the scene for you. This was the second time I had gone to the this Casino. The first time I went I won $161.00 dollars on a penny machine! Wahoo! This time I went I set a limit for myself so that I would not spend all my moneies. I brought $100.00 dollars in and said to myself I would not spend more then $60.00 dollars.


I went to the Wheel of Fortune machine first becuase my mom always wins on it so I thought I would try it out. I put in $20.00 and lost it all. So then I moved to another machine and lost another $20.00. Didnt even break even nothing I just lost it all. So I decided that I was just not having good luck so I thought I'd just be done for the night.


As we walked around I saw a pink diamond slot machine... I thought to myself... I HAVE TO PLAY THE PINK DIAMOND MACHINE! I mean come.. its PINK! So I pulled out my $20.00 and said to my mom and Joe ( With a frowny face) " Ok if I lose all of this can you please give me milk money for the rest of the week?"

I put the money in and pulled once and I got nothing. I pulled again and I won $40.00 and I said that I was just going to cash out with that. My mom had told me not to that she had a "feeling" that I shouldnt.... Uhh ok mom. She pointed to the top of the machine and explained to me what it was that I needed to win the jackpot. I pulled again...

1 pink diamond...

another pink diamond...

and a THIRD PINK DIAMOND!!!!

I won the Jackpot!!!!

$9,595.31!!!


Yes that is nine thousand five hundred ninety five dollars and thirty one cents!!
I was in shock for like 10 minutes afterwards. People kept crowding around me congratulating me I just stood there like " what..?? what is going on?? Did I just win?"
When the people came over the asked if I wanted the taxes taken out right then or later, I was greedy and wanted ALL of it right then! So they walk out with a huge stack of 100 dollar bills. WHUUA??? I asked them" You really are going to give this to me in cash?" They said yup and made me put my hand out and I watched them count and put $9,595.31 right into my hand! Becuase they gave it to me in cash I obviously didnt want to walk around all night with all that cash expecially becuase of how many people sat there and watched me as I was being handed all that money. So we had to have a security guard walk us out to our car after only being there about 15 minutes!

This money is just craziness! Its like a month later and I still cant believe that I won! ( I know I am seriously slacking on my blogging)
Now that its a month later I realized how quickly that money has gone. Jeesh! I have spent a little here and there and a lot here and there. I plan to get another tattoo and I have bought myself a lot of new clothes and a new laptop and helped out family members... and some very lucky homeless people. But I still have a lot left that I plan to do things that I have been trying to do for years that I just havent had the money to be able to but now I do!! Yay!!!

That was the best night ever! And the best part about it is that I was wearing a shirt with Marilyn Monroe on it that says " Diamonds are a girls best friend"... Pink Diamonds were deffinitly my friend that night!

A family thats FORD tough

My heart goes out to the Ford family during this difficult time for them. I could go on and on about him and how truly amazing he was. He was there for me during difficult times in my life and was always able to make me smile when I thought it was impossible. I will always cherish the friendship I had with him and the times that we spent together. I will never forget the mornings he would cut school and come to my house to watch music videos with me because I was home sick and lonely. He would always be there to keep me company, watch movies with me or just talk whenever I needed a friend. He would always protect me and was always by his friend's sides no matter what. I know there were days I would not have been able to make it threw without him and his kindness and ways to make even the darkest days seem bright . Scotty will always have a place in my heart that will never be forgotten and I will always cherish his friendship and everything he had done for me. I feel honored and greatfull to have known him and had him in my life. Rest In Peace Scotty. We all love and miss you.

Scotty's Obituarie

http://m.heraldextra.com/lifestyles/announcements/obituaries/article_f9d0a603-2504-585e-8288-78eeade39738.html



Scott G. Ford
1988 ~ 2011
Scott G Ford, age 23, passed away on July 22, 2011, returning home to his Heavenly Father.
He was born on July 7, 1988 in Provo, Utah to Derin and Lisa Ford. He was a sweet and happy little boy. He attended Orem Elementary, Lakeridge Junior High and Mountain View High School. He had a passion for sports. He loved baseball, wrestling, football, wakeboarding and snowboarding. He also loved to dance. Scotty was extremely dedicated to keeping fit and motivating others to do the same. He pushed himself to excel in all that he did. He loved a new challenge.
Scotty loved life. He had so much compassion for those who were hurting. He had the most sensitive and tender heart, and with that, a quiet inner strength. He had so much insight regarding the things most important in life. He had an unmistakable and infectious laugh. Scotty was a loyal and true friend to everyone who knew him. His brothers Curt and Mitch, however, were unquestionably his closest allies and friends. They had a bond unlike any other.
He is survived by his parents, Lisa and Derin Ford, brother Mitch and his wife Christine and their children Hudson and Demi; brother Curt and his wife Cassie and their children Hallie, Mayzie, and Dirk; grandparents John and Joan Ford and Glenn and Colleen Mott. He is also survived by numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. He was loved and adored by them all. He was preceded in death by his close cousin Ryan Ford.
Viewing will be Friday, July 29th from 6-8pm at Sundberg Olpin Mortuary located at 495 South State Street in Orem. There will be another viewing prior to the funeral, Saturday, July 30th from 10:30 to 11:45 am at the Canyon View Stake Center, located at 575 E. 800 N. in Orem. The funeral service will begin at noon. Interment will be at the Orem City Cemetery. Condolences may be sent to the family at www.sundbergolpinmortuary.com
The Ford family would like to express their deepest, heartfelt gratitude for the outpouring of love and support they have received from their family and friends. We have felt your love for Scotty.
Scotty, we feel you with us and we'll see you soon. Save us a spot on the roster.


I love that personal note: "Save us a spot on the roster"...amazing. Here is an article written by Neil Warner. I know him and his family and I am touched by what he had wrote about Scotty and his family.

A FAMILY THATS FORD TOUGH

http://www.heraldextra.com/sports/blogs/neil-warner/article_cf8d1b1c-b8d5-11e0-985e-001cc4c002e0.html

I was at a concert when my phone buzzed and a text came in. 'Did you hear about Scott Ford?'
When you get a text like that it's usually bad news.
I hoped it was referring to the success of Scott Ford's summer sales or that he was going to join his older brothers Mitch and Curt for a baseball tournament.
Nope.
He was on life support.
Turns out Scotty was already gone.
The life of a 23-year-old had been robbed. Stolen before its time.
The news was received like i was running down the field on a kickoff return and was blindsided.
There was not enough air to breath. The shock of this tragedy has not faded since the news broke last week.
Death can be like lightning strikes. They are all around you- always hitting objects that are out of sight.
That is until the lighting scores a direct hit.
Derin and Lisa Ford are one of the class families in Utah. I have covered all three of their sons when they played (football and baseball) at Mountain View High School, and I have played in many baseball tournaments with Derin.
They are a close family, who have been tied together by baseball over the years. I love them and I know so many people in this community feel the same way I do.
What makes this so difficult to accept was the way it happened. Scotty was killed (run over) by a vehicle after an altercation while working in Mississippi. Now there will be legal action and court dates to follow. At some point the family must deal with the tug of war they will have with vengeance and forgiveness. Pain will continue as the judgement comes down on the person who took Scotty's life. The Ford family, who have been built Ford tough, will be tested.
Those who know the family are now only left with memories. I remember watching Scotty as a little second baseman on the Orem Thunder Super League team when he was in junior high. He played with my son and we spent many summer weekends watching them play in baseball tournaments out of state. Those memories are so easy to recall.
We can't do anything about what happened, but what we can do is show the Ford family that we care. Love does not have to be silent, It can be and should be communicated.
There is a viewing on Friday and the funeral will be on Saturday at Noon in Orem.
So many people have told me 'I don't know what to say.' I'm a writer and I can't think of the right words to say either. Perhaps what matters most now is that we support the family and let them know that life does not end here and neither does the love we have for each other.

Scotty Ford

 Rest in Peace my friend. You will be missed and never forgotten.

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure...

After 900 stops (okay more like 2 but it felt like 900.) I finally made it to California for the summer. It was a hard decision for me to choose to come here but as I was sitting on the plane I realized that it was the right decision.


It was a hard decision for me for a lot of reasons. I didnt know what would be easier for everyone involed. Would it be easier for Meagen and my dad if I was not there. One less mouth to feed, Wouldnt have to worry about Meagen and I having to share a car, things like that. But it was so so hard to leave Meagen and my dad. Since its just been the 3 of us for a year now I feel like we have developed a new bond with eachother after being threw what we have been threw together. I felt like I needed to stay and help Meagen with everything going on there and start working again to be able to pay rent and bills. I felt like I was just leaving them and thinking about if I am causing more problems by not being there to help with things. It was hard for me to think about how things would be in California as well. Even though I was told I was welcome to stay and get a job but there is always this feeling of me overstaying my welcome, and being an inconvience.  It was like either place I would be at I felt like I may be an inconvience. Because that is just the way I think....Apparently therapy did not heal me of everything.


I know this may sound weird but as I was sitting on the plane something that was said hit me and made me realize I was making the right choice. Because my plane had to stop in Vegas, Burbank, and then my final stop Sacramento I took off 3 different times. And each time new people came on so the flight attendants made their speech about the exits and what to do in an emergency water landing and blah blah blah. During their speech they explained that in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure that oxygen masks will fall from above you and that you should always put yours on first before helping others. And after the third time of hearing that it finally became clear to me. Take care of yourself before helping others.
For the past year I have been so worried about others and helping take care of others that I have been un happy. People would tell me " Take care of yourself" " Do whatever makes you happy" but there has just been so many other important things to think about and take care of that doing what I want or what I think would make me happy just didnt ever cross my mind and when I did I thought it was selfish of me. Theres has always been an open offer to come and stay with my mom. And after I got really sick when I was here in April, and then I went home I just decided that this Summer I would take her up on that offer and spend the Summer out in California.


When I decided to come stay for the summer I had 2 goals in mind. Number one was to find a job. I have completed that goal. I turned in applications for the Hampton Inn which I would prefered to work at obviously since I know the system like the back of my hand. I was offered a job at the Orchid Suites and I took it. It was good for me to step out of my comfort zone and learn something new. I am still learning and probably screwing alot of things up but I like it. Its good to be working again and feeling somewhat like a human being again. I miss working at a hotel and getting to know guests and everything I just hate not knowing what Im doing. I am use to being the one that everyone came to to fix the problem or help them with something that they couldnt do or didnt know. Its very hard for me to not know what I am doing and feeling uncomfortable. Its difficult to focus on the guests and customer service when your so concentrated on not screwing things up on the computer. Hopefully things will get easier and I will get more comfortable as time goes by.


Goal Number 2: FINALLY lose all of this discusting weight that I have gained. Alot of it has to do with 2 of my medications. The depo shots and lyrica. Number one side effect is weight gain. Alot of people refuse to even take them because of how much weight you gain while you are on them. Its terrible. Unfortunitaly I dont have the choice of not taking them. I have to take them. I wish I could blame it all on the medication but I can't. Most of it is becuase I have just gotten lazy and stopped caring and now I just want to scream. I am so dissapointed in myself.. Everytime I look in the mirror I just feel ashamed. Discusted. So much hate. I have to get rid of this weight, I want to go back to looking thin and being able to wear all my clothes that no longer fit. Be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. I know its going to take a lot of work I would like to lose at least 30 pounds. I have been asking for suggestions on what some good diets are or work out routines people do to lose weight. Some of the suggestions I have been given are : Meth, Cocaine, get rid of one of my legs, eat only a half of a tortilla chip a day, and just get good nutrition. I dont really want to cut of one of my legs so i think ill pass on that one. Unfortunitly I dont have the will power to only eat a half of a chip a day. ( maybe thats part of how I got into this discusting over weight body.) I could go the drug route but lets face it I dont really need " are you really an addict" conversation with people again. Because I wouldnt be so polite in holding in my fuck you's to people. I have started my Wii Fit account again and according to it I am obesse. WTF? So I am working out on it for a half hour every day. And also trying to cut my portions in half. If that doesnt work Ill go to not eating for days and when I feel like I am about to faint Ill eat a cube of cheese. With that and one stomach flu away ill reach my goal weight.


Hopefully by the end of Summer Ill be back to my normal weight and Ill have saved some money to get back to a normal life again.


But what if this is as good as it gets?

Here To Make An Apperance

Well here go.



I havent  blogged in so long because I don't have a computer at home to blog from. I know how sad is that? I know you all miss my blog dearly so to all my readers my birthday is May 26th so if you miss it buy me a laptop then you will get lots of hollipocket blog posts! Yay!


I have some things I would like to post about becuase it is so exciting and so thoughtful that It is totally blog worthy. Other things I have debated on blogging about it becuase well its depressing and then I thought when I have ever had anything against being depressive and negative on my blog... well hmm. never so what the hell?


So here we go. The Good, The Bad, and the everything else

THE GOOD 

I started with the good becuase your always suppose to start with the good right? First of all I owe a big shout out to my sister and BFF Meagen who has recently started working at great new job and Center for Change. I just knew that she would find a great job and at a place she will love. After being there a week she has already received a promotion and I am so proud of her. I admire her and her strength and work ethic and the ability to be able to start a new job with a great attitude and hopes for the future. I for one am terrified to start a new job and Meagen has deffinitly been someone I look up to when it comes to never loosing hope that something will come along and everything will be okay. I am so happy for her and I am familar with Center for Change becuase I worked with them as a corporate client at the hotel and I know its going to be a wonderful place for her to be and I hope she loves it and goes far there! Go Meagen Go!

I have been in California since the first week of April and while I have been here I have recieved some AUSSIE love! I have recieved a wonderful birthday package from my beautiful friend AMY ( Thanks Amy!) filled with aussie love! She sent the most ADORABLE shirts ever and soome yummy snacks! She always sends me something on my birthday and it always makes my entire day and I am so greatful to have such an amazing friends like her and even though we have never met she is so special to me! One day I will go to Australia and meet my beautiful Aussie Friend! ( and hear her cute accent! hehe)

Another AMAZING Aussie birthday gift I recieved is so special to me and makes me relized how loved I am and again how blessed I am to have amazing people in my life. My Aussie Mom and Dad Lynn and Neil have given me two such special birthday gifts to me that I will always cherish. On my 21st birthday they gave me this BEAUTIFUL pink stone that I had set in a ring and it is so precious to me. And about 2 months ago I posted on facebook about this beautiful Marilyn Monroe blanket that I found and fell in love with but I did not have the money to buy. ( I think everyone knows how much I LOVE Marilyn Monroe) Well, Neil just happened to be in the states last month (I am so sad that I was not in Utah at the time so I missed being able to see and get together with him) While he was in Utah he went and FOUND the Marilyn blanket and bought it for me and delivered it to my house. How amazing is that?!? They are so amazing to me and make me feel so loved and always call me their American Daughter and I love that! They will never know how much that gift means to me and again I will always cherish. They said they didn't know if it was the same one that I wanted and I coulld exchange it if I wanted to but I will keep the one they picked out for me. I love it so much and will always think of them when I use it. Which will be alot!  Thank you Aussie mom and dad and Thank you sweet Aussie Amy!  You guys are so special to me and I hope you know that and how much I love all of you.

 

Also My sister Madi got me a KICK ASS gift as well! She got me a bottle of Marilyn Monroe Wine called Marilyn Merlot! How awesome is that! Uhmazing!!

THE BAD



Well... Ill be honest I have been working on this post for a month now. I will just say this, My california visit did not turn out the way we wanted it to. I got sick about five days before I left with the worst stomach flu virus thing in the entire world! MISERABLE! I would tell you what came next but to be honest... I litteraly don't remember. I dont remember like the first week and a half I was here and there is still alot of missing days and pieces of days that I just do not remember I have been so sick and the medication I have been taking its just been sucky. I wont go into detail about it all mainly I will just give a shorter version of it all. Here we go.. ( and remember this has all happpened in just one month.)  Thought I had the measles, went to an insta care they said go straight to the hospital. Went to the hospital no measles was treated for this horrible cough I had. Then came the most awful neck pain I have ever experienced had a bad fever constintaly had the cold sweats just feeling miserable. So went to another insta care immediatly sent me to the hospital to be tested for menigitis. Waited in the ER waiting room for about 7 hours to be seen. ( Thats a whole other story lets just say I was NOT a happy patient after that. O M G!) Had the spinal tap no menigitis- but didnt really tell me what else it could be just sent us on our way. ... still miserable with neck pain and headaches then I started having tremors like big time. Mom and Joe said I needed to go to the hospital and I fought them becuase I did NOT want to go back there but I knew I needed to go. Got medicine to stop the tremors had a brain and neck MRI apparently they found a cycst on my brain but i guess its not that big of a deal so whatev! aaaaand then today still having neck pain have not slept in like forever and having horrible horrible kidney pain.. went to the insta care again they said I have a kidney infection.Oh and on top of this I have had the WORST sunburn ever! I cant even explain how bad my skin looks right  now I had this awesome tan and now I just look like a lepor. Ugh FML!!!! I will say this, I am so greatful that I was in California when all of this happend, it was sooo nice to have my mom with me while being sick I dont care how old you are, you still want your mom when your sick! And she took great care of me as well did Joe. They made it possible for me to get seen and checked out and able to get the treatment that I needed. I don't think I would have been able to get that if I had been in Utah. So so very greatful for that and big thank you to them! ( And let me be clear this part of the blog was only the "THE BAD" section becuase of how sick I have been thats all)

Even though it was not the stay we were expecting because of me being so sick I have really loved being here and on the days that I felt somewhat OK we were able to go out to movies or go fishing and I have just really enjoyed spending time with them and have had a lot of fun. They have been kind enonugh to allow me to spend the summer with them if I want and I think I am going to take them up on that offer and spend the summer out here working and enjoyingtime with them and the sun! I have had a GREAT time with them this past month and I cant wait to get back out here. And unfortunetly the " holli is a bitch becuase she doesnt  feel good" side of me came out while I have been here and so if they are willing to offer me to stay for the summer after seeing that side of me... I guess they like me enough to spend more time with them even after that side of me coming out. They are brave people.

EVERYTHING ELSE 

( My new fibro shirt! Sorry for the rotten face sally picture of me... focus on the shirt!)

Thursday May 12th was National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day!! I want to wish all my Fibro Friends a Happy Day and let them know how much I love them and am so greatful for their support. No one can truly understand until you live with it and my fibro friends are such strong fighters and help me be strong too! HAPPY FIBROMYALGIA AWARENESS DAY!!!  If I had a cake for that day with candles on it I would wish for more awareness on this awful disease. For people to try and understand and really try to know fibro before making an opinion or place judgement about it and the people who have it. I have been living with Fibromyalgia for eight years and it is a hard hard battle every single day I know this is something I will have my entire life and I will be apart of the fibro crusade the rest of my life! Yay For Fibro Fighters!

Just a few other things- I was able to be here for my nephews SECOND BIRTHDAY!!!! YAY KELVIN!!!! Even though I was mostly out of it the entire weekend I spent with them I LOVED being able to have Easter Dinner with Madi and Brady and be able to here for Kelvins Birthday. I just love spending time with them and I just cant get enough of Kelvin! And Madi also took good care of me while she was also taking care of brady who just had shoulder surgery a few days before! She is Super Mom! Thank you!!

HOW CUTE IS THIS LITTLE GUY!?!?!??!

Well I am not sure if there is anything else to share just that I really miss blogging. Even though I dont have anythinig exciting to blog about sometimes its just nice to be able to pop in and say Hey Im still alive and just talk blog about random stuff like how I think im going to start wearing a watch.. its my new thing. Or sharing pictures of the box of balloons I stole! ( Hehehe yeah I totally did... it was on accident though... I returned them.... I figured I couldnt afford another strike on my record!) But hopefully you will be seeing more of me my mom is nice and lets me take over her laptop while I am here sooooo THIS SUMMER COMING TO A LAPTOP OWNED BY YOU..... HOLLIS BLOG POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahah Oooopsie! My bad

Love you sibligns, friends, mom and joe, and stalkers. Im so glad I have you and you read my blog even though I only make an appearence like every 5 months. . . I used to be such a good blogger. Oh wait that was becuase I was working and had nothing else better to do then blog. hmmmm.

Peace Out!

Oh and just a picture of how The California sun left me with this rot ass tan line

 COME ON!!!!!